Lol. First post in 3 months.
And I still have nothing terribly interesting to say.
No. Seriously. I ain’t got shit.
Alright. What in the name of fuck is “Tumblarity”?
The other day it’s at 3, now it’s at 1 and still have no idea what it’s for. Maybe it’s because I’m retarded, or maybe it’s because it’s retarded. Either way, something it retarded.
Anyways. I clicked on the thing and it’s like [x] number of words typed and [x] number of posts. My best guess at this point is that your tumblarity is proportionate to how much time you have on your hands. Higher number = Higher number of activity = You blog too much. So by process of elimination, I am now one of “the cool kids” because I have a low tumblarity. But now because of this post, it’s going to rise… So now I’m in a little bit of a bind. Either, I remain a cool kid and end it here, or I tell y’all about my masturbation habits. Decisions, decisions.
So. The stranger.
The act of sitting on your hand/arm to numb it up in order to make masturbation feel like someone else is doing it for you. Allegedly. Personally, I have never used this technique because it seems a little strange to me. I mean to you sit on your hand and wait for your dick to get hard, or do you sit on your hand when it’s hard and hope that it stays up until your hand is numb enough so that you don’t feel as dirty and guilty when you ejaculate?
Speaking of feeling guilty and dirty after masturbation. I mean, you get down to it, you take a few minutes to yourself and you finish. Then you’re left with a void that is being slowly filled with guilt and shame. Personally, I fill that void with food and judging by my weight right about now, I masturbate too much. Ha!
The whole thing just confuses me.
As another side note.
I noticed that when I ended a sentence with a question mark, a little checkbox appeared that said something like “Let people answer this”. I’d like to know what that whole thing is about… Because I checked it and then it disappeared when I typed some more. So what’s the dealio?!
Ick. Fuck tumblr. I’ve got better things to do.
Skitch out.
/end blog.
(That’s my new sign off.)
So here I am, sitting on the toilet taking a massive shit with my laptop in front of me. Yes, shit is exitting my asshole as I type this. It’s a wonderful feeling.
Anyway.
It’s not really until this moment that I have realised how fucking awesome laptops are particularly when it comes to “shitting and surfing”. I mean you don’t even need to stop what you’re doing when you go for a shit. I could be typing out an important email, or just having a conversation on messenger… *stops to wipe asshole* …and I don’t even have to stop what I’m doing to go and take a shit, unlike on my desktop. Also, I never actually inserted “*stops to wipe asshole*” as a “joke”, I actually did stop typing this shit to wipe faecal matter from my anus using some rather cushy 2-ply toilet paper… I like to treat myself. But yeah. That’s my thoughts on taking my laptop to the shitter. Frankly, I think it’s the best thing since sliced bread and free hardcore pornography.
That’s all I’ve got.
Skitch out.
/end blog
A second song from The Number Twelve Looks Like You’s new album, Worse Than Alone to give y’all a bit more of a taster of how the album sounds.
This track is called “If They Holler, Don’t Let Go”.
There’s some great guitar playing in this song, and the vocals are nicely varied, and there’s a nice group vocals section near the end of the song.
It’s probably my favourite song from Worse Than Alone. I hope you enjoy it.
I recently rediscovered this band “The Number Twelve Looks Like You” and I have fallen back in love with them.
This track “Marvin’s Jungle” is from their new album “Worse Than Alone” released on March 10th. If you enjoy it, I highly recommend getting the album via your prefered method. Be it going out and buying the CD, downloading it via iTunes or a similar service or illegally downloading it for free…
Just get this fucking album. It’s the fucking shit!
kthxbai!
Boobs. That’s what.
Boobs. Breasts. Titties. Mammories.
They go by many names. But regardless of whichever name they choose to go by, they’re awesome.
I can’t explain why, but they’re simply mesmerising, and I’m sure all men would agree.
So with that, I salute you, oh glorious breasts.
Long live the titties!
Here’s what I’m having trouble with…
Who the FUCK writes the dialogue for porn? And while on the subject… Who the FUCK does the casting of the “actors” to read these lines?
One would imagine that a script that was built on the phrase “Oh yeah!” would be easy to write… Right? WRONG!
I’d like porn to have a little class in the script reading. It helps immersion. Never again do I want to see a woman in her late 20’s pretending to be a high school cheerleader/bookworm… And do it badly at that.
I think I may have to write my own script and direct my own porno… Just to show these people up. Maybe I’ll win a woody.
…That’s all I’ve got.
Enjoy. Bitch.
I hate to love tranny porn…
Wait. What?
So yeah.
I was watching this porno last night. It was a foursome… And I know what you’re thinking. And no, it wasn’t fucking awesome. It was this young couple having sex with an older couple. I don’t know why. And this older woman was fat. Never before have I seen pussy folds…
I want to erase that from my mind… And let the images creep into yours.
So yeah.
Skitch out.
